Sometimes I feel that we don't know the difference between being frank and being rude, and between being polite and being hypocrite. It is a fine line, but while I view frankness and politeness positively, I view rudeness and hypocrisy negatively.
You show up at office with the shirt you bought over the weekend. You obviously believe it is a nice shirt, otherwise you wouldn't buy it. For the purpose of this sample let's assume that your next desk colleague, Dan, doesn't like your shirt.
Option #1: Dan voluntarily says he doesn't like your shirt. Dan is being rude.
Option #2: You ask Dan if he likes your shirt, Dan says "no". Dan is being frank.
Option #3: You ask Dan if he likes your shirt, Dan says "yes". Dan is being hypocrite.
Option #4: You ask Dan if he likes your shirt, Dan says that it is not his style, but he sees why others could like it. Dan is being polite.
Here is a rule that may help: if you don't have anything good to say, better to shut up, unless you were asked for your opinion.
Tel Aviv, Israel
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3 comments:
Plonit,
I like this post. But I disagree with some of your conclusions
I liked your view on thin lines separating frankness and rudeness, politeness and hypocrisy. However, telling the truth in a non-offensive way is never rude (#1).
If someone is telling the truth in a non offensive way, you will determine if he's rude or frank just according to whether he was asked or not. . .
Think about it. . .
Oded
i prefer that you will grab me to the tiolet and tell "you are lo bakivun today" with what you put on your self this morning... rather then start and saying i can understand, bla bla bla, and sign here and here and here ;)
pumpkin
Pumpkin, I had a good laugh reading your "sign here and here..." ;-D
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